Today in calculus we learned about compound interest. I finally found out, not only what APR and APY stand for, but also what they actually mean.

I went to a panel this evening of 3 digital media professionals. One was an executive of AOL who spoke on the evolution of virtual spaces and also had a really fascinating bit about how venture capital and start up businesses actually work. One was a senior producer at Electronic Arts; he spoke on gaming as a passion and a profession. The most interesting of the three was a programmer from Blizzard; he spoke on real nitty gritties of breaking into the games industry, the importance of specialization, the importance of perseverance. He gave me the most defined sense of what level of experience was actually needed to become a professional programmer. He was a tools programmer and he mentioned how the most frustrating thing about that particular position is that he could not point to any particular part of a shipped game and say "that, that thing right there, that was me", but it was a small complaint next to the mountain of awesome that was working in games.

I soooo wanna be that guy O_O!!!!

and I get up again

A few nights ago I helped a friend, Matt Cheah, with his computer science homework. He is taking the courses I took last year so it's all stuff I've seen before. It feels good to be genuinely helpful.

I think one of the reasons I've lost steam this quarter is because of my computer science course. It's called 'introduction to software engineering', which sounds cool and interesting, but after 6 weeks of the course I believe I can safely say it would more accurately be labeled 'intro to planning stuff'. We are learning how, big projects require management, they never get completed on time and within budget. We are learning strategies for minimizing how late and how over budget a large project is going to be. It is frustrating because this is the sort of theory class that simply gets shattered and thrown out once it meets reality. Or it was one of those classes, then the people who made the class realized it was that way and decided to begin every 'fact' we are suppose to be learning with "In some situations..."



I guess what I am getting at is it feels like a waste of time. I cannot apply the same excuse to my two math classes, though. I know that what I am learning in calc and linear algebra is going to be useful in what I hope to do with my life. A fellow of the game design club specifically described the 'Advanced Computer Graphics' course as "a whole lot of matrix multiplication". The calc midterm was ruined by time, I've never been fast at anything so that doesn't bother me too much. My problem with linear algebra is a matter of terminology, I think. There are a lot of different words that stand for a lot of (relatively simple) things about matrices. Unfortunately I have not heard any of these terms before so I was overwhelmed.

Doing very poorly academically right now. Just finished the last of my 3 midterms. Only answered 60% of the questions so that's the most I could get. I wish I knew where my motivation has gone. I remember a speech during my senior year about how I was an academic, an athlete, and an artist... what happened to that guy?

Back to Bite Me

I just got my Linear Algebra midterm back. Got a 61%. The average was 79%. Feels good. I think I will need to stop going to lecture and just read the textbook to improve my understanding because I basically sleep in that lecture.

My bicep has been twitching for more than a week now. A brief search of google leads me to believe that this twitching is being caused by a nerve in my neck being put under pressure it is unaccustomed to. Furthermore the source of this new pressure is likely the atrophy of the muscles in my shoulders and neck. The cause of this atrophy is the fact that I have not exercised for a very long time.

Bad Times

It was once popular to suggest that the games industry was recession proof. Now all I read about on the various gaming sites I visit each day are layoffs, failed releases, and poor prospects. I think I am very lucky to be buried in this university bubble right now. Hopefully the economy will have straightened itself out by the time I am graduating.

Wonder

I have been reading a lot about MMO game design. This is true in the sense of the past few hours and the past few years. Several blogs I read recently led me to doubt a belief of mine. I believe that great design is fundamental to the success of a game, but recently both things I have observed and things I have read have contradicted this. I also like to think that I would be pretty good at game design, but everyone who has ever played a game believes they could make it better. I don't know what's going on. Eli posted an awesome Calvin and Hobbes comic on his Facebook wall. Everybody should check that out.

First Midterm

Finished it just a short time ago. I am anticipating something in the 30-40% range. You'd think that would have me freaking out, but I remember Bing Cheng's first midterm last quarter had an average of 31% so hopefully it will be similar this time around.

Popcorn is yummy

Right now I really want to make a game. I've been reading some things online about C++ programming and I just bought an old famous book called The Petzold on Windows programming. Hopefully it isn't too out of date. Oddly, I have not been playing games nearly as much as I once did. I attribute this to no good ones being out. Good ones include those that sound interesting AND worth the money. That second criterion being the main reason there are no good ones, cuz iyam cheap. When I do play a game, it is either Defense of the Ancients (dota) or Civilization IV, both of which are effectively free. I made the only purchase necessary to play dota in 2003, I think, and I got Civ4 free from Eli. Civ4 is a great way to relax without relaxing. When I play it, it is all I think about, and those games last for many, many hours, so that's really nice.

The past four Mondays I have gone to the meetings for the 'Video Game Design Club' here at UCI. It's good to be around my own kind again. That kind can be equally well catagorized as either socially inept and hopelessly sad, or smart and creative. I feel a small amount of guilt because the project which I have committed to contributing work towards is, for me, completely a learning experience, but I know one must start somewhere and this sort of environment is exactly the right sort of somewhere to start at. The learning curve I am facing as I attempt to write code for "Afro Shooter" is a painful prospect, but one I will face soon enough.

I really like some of my teachers. Bing Cheng taught my calculus class last quarter and by most fortunate happenstance I managed to get into his calculus lecture this quarter, too. He is very energetic in his lecturing... and very fast, which I am sure is awful for some folks. He describes math so very simply that the speed doesn't bother me one bit, in fact, I enjoy the speed because it means I get to learn the next part sooner! Another thing he does that is really nice is incorporate regular examples of real world situations in which the theorems or techniques he is describing are used. Yet another personal benefit is that the examples he gives are often programming oriented.

My T.A. for linear algebra is very sarcastic and cocky. In the first class I felt dislike for him because of the cockiness, but eventually it became evident that he was aware of the personality he projected and did not care what it made people think of him. With me independence from opinion scores way more points than it should, so I ended up liking him. I guess he is decent at teaching; it's hard for me to tell because for whatever reason linear algebra makes me sleepy and is impossible to focus on. Ken something would be his name.

My ICS professor is Dan Frost. He seems like a real neat guy. He annoys me by couching his statements (expression? i think) constantly in lecture, but that is a small thing. Unfortunately for Prof Frost and myself, I find "Software Engineering" to be extremely boring, it is basically a class about how to plan well.

It was a beginning

So, Janet made one of these blog things as one way of keeping in touch with her family. It's a good idea. I seriously doubt I can maintain a blog for very long, owing to my aversion to routine, but we shall see how it goes.

Another reason I see for a blog is that I have a lot of thoughts that are left unspoken for various reasons. I believe thoughts have value if not necessarily for their content, then for the insight they provide into the thinker. There is no reason that the insight cannot be provided to the thinker themselves at a later date. Insight into the self? Madness.

A final note for this context establishing post: English shall not be the language spoken here. You can think of it as Benglish if that sound pleases you, but be aware that the grammar and punctuation here used shall be that of my thoughts.

Oh, totally lied, more notes after the final one. As suggested by blog title, I have no intention of doing any quality assurance on the words that find their way onto this page. As such, you will notice me contradicting myself. That whole image of sanity that we try to project by only uttering things that align with other things we have spoken, not to be found here. You all know you have contradictory thoughts! Stop staring at me that way...